How to improve your social skills

How to improve your social skills- Advice & Tips

As a teenager I know exactly how it's like to feel unable to communicate so well with others, especially strangers. Initially I didn't think it was necessary to have a good relationship with everyone I ever meet, especially if I'm not likely to see them again. 

Growing up, I was always a shy, timid girl, with only a few friends that I would have an incredibly strong bond with. It wouldn't have been easy for me to let people in, during a short period of time. But that was in primary school.

Being a secondary school student, you need to learn how to be independent, and how to have a clean slate for this period in your life. My advice would be to step outside of your comfort zone, and push yourself to gradually make some strong connections. Here are some tips to help doing so:

• If you are anything like me, then one of the main things holding you back, is what other people will think of you. This was one thing that is really stopped me from socialising as much as I could. The trick is to try and get it out of your mind, possibly imagine that you alone and no-one is watching or judging.

 

•  As an introvert, I think one activity that could easily be inserted into anyone's daily routine, is writing a diary or a journal. This is a great way to express your feelings and issues without having to use someone else's time and speak. Just write  whatever you feel like about your day, with admitting things or reaching conclusions. This way you won't be judged with what you are feeling.

• Probably my biggest recommendation is to forget about trying to be popular and try to get 2-5 trustworthy and reliable friends that will always be there for you. It is common for people, especially people in the teenage phase, to constantly feel the need to be popular and have many friends. However those friends probably won't be as close to you and won't know you down to your core. 

The main purpose of having friends, is so that you have support and help from a person/people who really understand you and know what's best for you. For example I constantly tried to grow my friendship circle a year or so ago, and it never did me any good. Try to aim for making long-lasting, worthy friendships rather than changing your friends every year.

• One common problem I had was to overthink things. I would constantly replay and rethink arguments or scenarios that had happened previously and would find it difficult to move on with my life. But, even if it is easier said than done, try to make discussions come naturally rather than try and impress the other person. If the conversation doesn't seem to flow well then that person isn't the right friend or companion to have in your life. You might not have things in common making it awkward later on and at that stage it would be tricky to leave. The best mindset to have is that you should be yourself and if that person doesn't like then they are not worth it and you should move on. 

• Despite what I said earlier you shouldn't be too picky about someone just after one conversation, you need to give it some time. 

• It is really important to get along with all sorts of people as this skill is one which is great to have later in life. You might have only a specific type of friend, most probably with a personality similar to yours, but later in life you don't always have a choice with who you socialise with. For example, if you need to work on a group project in school or university, it helps to be on good terms with the people involved. Or even when life gets harder when you are an adult and you might have to work with others or different clients, then being able to be sociable and bubbly is a great trait to have. 

One definite thing I have learnt over the years, is that you should never let the fear or socialising stop you from pursuing your passions or dreams. Just remember anytime you are feel that you are being  judged or uncomfortable because of the number of people in a room, just imagine that you are in a place which is comfortable to you, with comfy clothes and your favourite food. This will help to calm down your nerves, and help you confidence, which is easy to lose in a busy place.

I hope you have found this advice useful and thanks for reading my blog.

Summer in the Canary Islands

Summer in the Canary Islands

Saturday

This summer we went to Fuerteventura, Canary Islands for a week. It is an island very close to Africa but is still known as a part of Spain. We left the Fuerteventura airport late because my dad had problems with the car rental and ended up getting the wrong car because there was a mistake. We went to get our car and I was definitely surprised. It was a mini fiat car and we were a family of four with four medium sized suitcases. The ride to the beach resort was very squished but short. I never expected to have to carry a heavy suitcase weighing on my thighs and another pushing against my arm on a drive to a holiday resort. But to bring up my mood we had a filling leftover dinner that the resort provided once we checked in. and once we reached there we checked in and then had some leftover dinner that the resort provided. Then we found our room and went to sleep.

Sunday

The next day was an easy day just really to get used to the hotel. In the morning, we met the other family we were spending our holiday with. They were a family of four as well with a seven year old boy and the cutest baby girl. After breakfast, a lady came to talk to us about the two day surfing course that we were going to do for the next two days. 

Unfortunately, my mum had an eye infection, so she had to go to the doctor and buy some medicine which made the morning really hectic and boring. After lunch in the hotel and resting for a little while, we headed to the nearby beach that was just the width of a pavement away from our resort. It was a really nice beach, with a calm turquoise sea and a clear blue sky. 

After a swim we just had dinner at a local Spanish restaurant. I just shared a pepperoni pizza with my sister because I wasn't that hungry. My family payed for a half board at the hotel, which meant that we were only allowed two meals a day there and drinks only for breakfast. 

                                     Monday

Next day was the day when I surfed for the first time. After driving there, I noticed the waves we were going to surf on. They were quite big which wasn't ideal for the first time but I still had a great time. We had to carry the surfboards from the parking area to the beach which was a painful walk as we had to walk very far down.

For the first forty minutes we listened to the instructor talk and talk about the positioning, how to stand etc. 
Eventually when we started in the water I had no idea on how to balance and stand but as I kept on trying, I was getting better and was able to stand. Once we finished and carried the surf boards back to the parking area, all of us went to a seafood restaurant which had really delicious food.

Tuesday

Tuesday was really boring after surfing. The second day surfing was easier because I started off with more experience and it was probably more fun. The main skill you need in surfing is speed because you need to recover from a wave quickly and then get on your surfboard ready for the the next one to carry you in time. We were just relaxing in our room and going to the swimming pool. We then went out to have dinner at a seaside view restaurant. The food was nice and there was also a beautiful view which was a really nice end to the day. 

Wednesday

This day was my mum's birthday and probably the most active day we had on the whole holiday. We went trekking up to a volcano which was fun and something new. Fuerteventura is very near to Africa so the trek was very desert-like which was very different from any of my previous treks.It was an hour trek and once we reached the crater we took many pictures as the view was incredible.

An hour later, once we trekked back, we were starving so we went to a cafe to have some ice cream and some Spanish fast food wraps and burgers. The lady at the cafe recommended a beach that was a fifteen minute drive away from the cafe. So that was where we went after lunch. When we reached, I was very disappointed at the sea as there were hundreds of big rocks underneath so whenever I swam, I would bang some part of my leg hard on a rock. The sea was really cold and salty as well with pieces of seaweed floating everywhere. Soon we left because there wasn't much to do. 

To end the birthday day we cut a cake at dinner at the resort which tasted amazing. However we had to go to the theatre where little children can dance and some kind of show is put on. We went there every night and just because it was my mum's birthday didn't mean we couldn't go. We mainly went for my sister because she really wanted to dance and she would have screamed if we didn't go.

Thursday

Thursday was an easy day. In the morning we just relaxed in the room, and after lunch me and my mum went to a nearby nail salon. She got a manicure and a pedicure and just my hand nails painted. Shortly after that, we went to see a village that was just next to some beautiful mountains that we saw when we went trekking the other day. It was a really cute village which was perfect for taking pictures in as it had stunning views. On the drive back, we stopped a place where the best photos could be taken because you could see all the mountains really nicely.

To end the day, just the four of us went to "volcano restaurant" where the food tasted amazing. We made it back to the resort just in time for the dance and got some refreshing ice cream as well.

Friday

Friday was an average day. We started of the morning by visiting the sand dunes which was very boring. It was just heaps and heaps of sand so thankfully we left very soon. Next, we went for a four hour boat trip. The boat started off really rickety and there were loads of bumps along the way. In fact it was so bumpy, that I felt sea sick and actually vomited. But I recovered quickly. So quickly that just half an hour later I was ready to swim in the sea and see the fish. The water was really nice and clear so it was fun to swim in it. To end the trip I  went on a jet ski which was definitely the highlight of the boat trip. It was so fast which made it so fun. We had our last dinner on this day so I ate a lot because I wouldn't be able to have them again.

Saturday

In the morning we had to say goodbye to the other family because their flight was much earlier than ours. Then after breakfast, we decided to spend some of our day at a beach. The beach was very pretty and the water was even better but once we reached we found out that quite a few people were nude. It was surprising and obviously my parents didn't know that it there were going to be people like that otherwise they wouldn't have brought us there. However the water had a very strong current and I only realised that I was drifting to one side, when my parents were waving their arms on the beach. It took me long time to swim back because the waves were powerful and the current wasn't exactly helping. So after that I was in a bad mood and just wanted to go somewhere else.

Soon, we were really hungry so we went to a restaurant that served delicious tapas and other great things. This was our last meal in our holiday so we made sure it was good. A couple hours later, we were waiting the airport for our delayed night flight and it was time to say goodbye to Fuerteventura. This holiday has been amazing even though it only lasted for a week and has probably been the best week of my whole summer holidays. I really enjoyed writing a blog about it too.

Here are some pictures we took:

A Trip to London Paddington

This title might sound like going to London Paddington was intentional, but it definitely wasn't. In year 8 I started travelling by train with my friend, Prisha. Only because it was cheaper, quicker and it would help build my independence. So this is what happened...

We were walking to the station after an easy first day back at school. Nobody wanted to be there but seeing all my friends after two to three months was definitely my highlight of the day. The morning train to school was easy and we reached school nice and early. However the train back home wasn't so relaxed.

We were going to get the 4:18 train but we had a snack craving which meant that we had to get the 4:25 train. So getting on the train, hopelessly not checking if the train stopped at Langley was the reasoning behind this whole blog.  

Center Parcs (2018)

Center Parcs (2018)

This holiday had a lot of fun in a very short time.

Year 7

Year 7

Year 7 was an interesting year for me, but like any year it had its ups and downs. At the start when I first saw my secondary school, the first difference from primary school I saw, was the size. I wondered if I would be able to walk out of the school without getting lost. But when I stepped into
 the main hall, it felt just like my old school, just bigger.

Of course everyone was nervous, which was normal, some for schoolwork, some on tests, some on making friends but for most people, it was all of them. They got every single student that were joining (there were 110 of them) and put us in a hall so we could "socialise" with people that we have never even seen before. I know, the idea sounds spine-chilling but we had no choice. Luckily I knew one person who went to the same school as did, but she was weird so I much rather have made new friends. 

But you just have to be bold when trying to make friends, otherwise you will end up not having any. In primary school there is always someone, no matter how shy you are, who will come up to you but in secondary school its much harder. Uneasy faces filled the hall, but most people knew others and were making friends easily. Though some were closed up, like a flower bud closing when evening falls. They said nothing personal, apart from their names, and just didn't care about friends.

The first few days, teachers were nice, less homework was set and everyone was caring and understanding. The school was a chaos for the new year seven. People getting lost and people forgetting their next lessons, was very common. The corridors were very busy, everyone going this way, then that way. I thought that the school needed traffic lights. It felt weird because one day I was the oldest in my primary school, and the next I am the youngest in my secondary school.

The way I travelled to school, was a one hour, twenty minutes school bus journey. Although the journey made me more independent, it was hard to balance my swimming lessons with this long journey

As weeks passed by, work got harder and teachers started raising their voices in lessons. One of my favourite places in the school was the biology lab. I found using a microscope really interesting and I would always learn something new in my biology lesson.

I had made a few friends and realised they were much nicer than my old school ones. When it was the middle of the year things just got worse. I started having friendship problems, homework pressure increased and my monthly test results dropped. I didn't know how to deal with everything. Then the time for end-of-year exams came. The pressure really hit me that time, and I lost concentration when revising.

It was a whole week of continuous exams. A week of stress. A week of torture. Some took the exams very seriously and would glue their head in a revision book in every spare second they got. Others couldn't care less and just acted as if it was just a normal school week. My shaking hands picked up my pen and.......go! That was the start of exam week.

When exam week finished, we had a bush craft 3 day residential trip straight after the exams. We had to camp in the woods with no electronic devices, and learn how to survive. We learnt how to make traps to catch animals, making fire, skinning rabbits, carving survival tools and many more. We also jumped into a freezing lake and I'm sure that it stopped my blood circulation for a few minutes. The trip was supposed to be relaxing, after a stressful week, but I was distracted. I kept on thinking about my friends and how I should re-build the lost camaraderie.

Then as soon as we knew it, it was the end of the year and I was so relieved. If I got through year 7, how hard could year 8 be?

Written by Gargi Chakrabarti
06/08/2018
(Age 12) 

Year 7

Year 7

Year 7 was an interesting year for me but like any year it has its ups and downs. At the start when you first see your secondary school, the first difference from primary school you see, is the size. When I saw mine, I wondered if I would be able to walk out of the school without getting lost. But when you step in the main hall it feels just like your old school just bigger.

Of course everyone is nervous, which is normal, some for schoolwork, some on tests, some on making friends but for most people it is all of them. For my school they got every single student that were joining (there were 110 of them) and put us in a hall so we could "socialise" with people that we have never even seen before. I know, the idea sounds spine-chilling but we had no choice. Luckily I knew 1 person who went to the same school as did but she was weird so I much rather have made new friends. 

But you just have to be bold when trying to make friends otherwise you will end up not having any. In primary school there is always someone, no matter how shy you are, who will come up to you 

Trekking in Greece

Trekking in Greece

We all set of on the pebble trail, the three, excited and one-me, was pretending to be excited. My dad said this gorge is one of the must-see places in Greece, the Imbros gorge, but to me it just sounded boring and I would much rather be lying by the pool back at the hotel. The views were the only good thing about the trek almost like something from a movie, but it felt much better seeing it with my own eyes.

After walking for a bit, I just got very bored so I listened to music so I could zone out into another world, rather than think about when this trail would come to an end. After walking for at least 3 hours, my trainers had changed from white to beige and the soles felt like they were peeling off. The pebbles were like daggers pricking my soles and aching my heels making the pain unbearable.

Now all I wanted to do is to lie down on a bed and no-one else seemed to be trekking this late, typical family trait. Then this sudden feeling hit me. It was a mix of scare and panic. What if we never make it in time? What if the taxi that was supposed to bring us back to the car park never arrived this late? What if we are stuck here. All night. Alone. All of these questions exploded in my brain and it just made me cry.

I don't normally cry about small things, but this time it felt different. Almost like I was meant to cry and that it would make me think differently about things. Then I could see the sea and the sight just lit up my face. It was like seeing  light at the end of a dark tunnel.

We waited a while until a taxi came. It had a haggard look and was colourless. The driver was an old lady but very chatty. She said she was a German in Greece but loved Greece a lot. I was scared the taxi would completely break into pieces as we were going up  the steep hills of the gorge. The lady spoke a lot but I didnot care , I just wanted to sleep.

This trek was interesting and I say that because it did change my approaches to family treks. One thing I know for sure, is that this trek was definitely not boring, otherwise why would I cry in it? I'm not sure if I liked this trek or not but despite the pain and the panic, it made me feel a feeling that I never felt before in family outings. I was scared, unsure and even  I thought whether I was going to make it out alive. But from now on, I'm going to give things a chance, even if that means I almost come out dead. Always start things with enthusiasm even if the outcome isn't so great, you must have learnt something on your outings because I definitely have. And yes, I would much rather have gone out with my friends but if you give it a try, family isn't so bad either.

By Gargi Chakrabarti
Thursday 2nd August 2018
(Aged 12)