How to improve your social skills

How to improve your social skills- Advice & Tips

As a teenager I know exactly how it's like to feel unable to communicate so well with others, especially strangers. Initially I didn't think it was necessary to have a good relationship with everyone I ever meet, especially if I'm not likely to see them again. 

Growing up, I was always a shy, timid girl, with only a few friends that I would have an incredibly strong bond with. It wouldn't have been easy for me to let people in, during a short period of time. But that was in primary school.

Being a secondary school student, you need to learn how to be independent, and how to have a clean slate for this period in your life. My advice would be to step outside of your comfort zone, and push yourself to gradually make some strong connections. Here are some tips to help doing so:

• If you are anything like me, then one of the main things holding you back, is what other people will think of you. This was one thing that is really stopped me from socialising as much as I could. The trick is to try and get it out of your mind, possibly imagine that you alone and no-one is watching or judging.

 

•  As an introvert, I think one activity that could easily be inserted into anyone's daily routine, is writing a diary or a journal. This is a great way to express your feelings and issues without having to use someone else's time and speak. Just write  whatever you feel like about your day, with admitting things or reaching conclusions. This way you won't be judged with what you are feeling.

• Probably my biggest recommendation is to forget about trying to be popular and try to get 2-5 trustworthy and reliable friends that will always be there for you. It is common for people, especially people in the teenage phase, to constantly feel the need to be popular and have many friends. However those friends probably won't be as close to you and won't know you down to your core. 

The main purpose of having friends, is so that you have support and help from a person/people who really understand you and know what's best for you. For example I constantly tried to grow my friendship circle a year or so ago, and it never did me any good. Try to aim for making long-lasting, worthy friendships rather than changing your friends every year.

• One common problem I had was to overthink things. I would constantly replay and rethink arguments or scenarios that had happened previously and would find it difficult to move on with my life. But, even if it is easier said than done, try to make discussions come naturally rather than try and impress the other person. If the conversation doesn't seem to flow well then that person isn't the right friend or companion to have in your life. You might not have things in common making it awkward later on and at that stage it would be tricky to leave. The best mindset to have is that you should be yourself and if that person doesn't like then they are not worth it and you should move on. 

• Despite what I said earlier you shouldn't be too picky about someone just after one conversation, you need to give it some time. 

• It is really important to get along with all sorts of people as this skill is one which is great to have later in life. You might have only a specific type of friend, most probably with a personality similar to yours, but later in life you don't always have a choice with who you socialise with. For example, if you need to work on a group project in school or university, it helps to be on good terms with the people involved. Or even when life gets harder when you are an adult and you might have to work with others or different clients, then being able to be sociable and bubbly is a great trait to have. 

One definite thing I have learnt over the years, is that you should never let the fear or socialising stop you from pursuing your passions or dreams. Just remember anytime you are feel that you are being  judged or uncomfortable because of the number of people in a room, just imagine that you are in a place which is comfortable to you, with comfy clothes and your favourite food. This will help to calm down your nerves, and help you confidence, which is easy to lose in a busy place.

I hope you have found this advice useful and thanks for reading my blog.